Every young adult at one time or another is hit hard with reality. “Oh, this what the real word is like.” I believe my early twenties where painfully enlightening somewhat due to the pedestal people had put me on since the day I was born. In my twenties, all of a sudden, this pedestal became shaky and crumbled. Reality hit me extra hard.
While I understand why the pedestal existed, it had an adverse effect. The so-called professionals raved about my smarts. They told my parents that I could achieve anything. For a short time I was given the support to shoot for my dreams, so understandably I got a big ego. I was told and shown I could do anything. Soon I forgot I was disabled. Maybe I also tricked myself into thinking I wasn’t disabled in order to fit in better with my non-disabled classmates. Whatever the case when I grew up, the real world wasted no time letting me know I was disabled.
I didn’t notice this all as an adult, but everybody seemed to personally know me. Every teacher and every child in my school knew of me and knew my name. When I was motoring down the hallway in my first power chair, every kid i passed would wave and say, “ Hi.” There I was, on the Elementary School pedestal. I was the one mainstream kid in a chair, so of course they would know of me.
When I wasn’t in the power chair I was in my oversized stroller. I remember being aware that when a few years went by, the stroller (with me in it) wouldn’t be cute anymore. When I grew too large for the stroller people would really KNOW I was disabled for sure. Yikes.
This novelty of a cute kid with a disability got all sorts of attention but at a cost too. It pumped up the pedestal so high that it was a hell of a fall off of it in my early twenties.
I’m glad I wasn’t ignored as a kid but I’m trying to convey what it was like when I met the real word.
After twenty years of being on that bright comfy pedestal in a blink of in eye I was invisible. Sure all kids experience a version of that going out on their own. But do they ever feel totally invisible? I sure did. There were no more big happy entrances, no more automatic special accommodations, no more special anything. I didn’t ever expect things to be handed over easy; though you have to imagine this was a rude awakening for me. “Hello world!’ The world slams the door in my face. The pedestal is gone.
Secondly, because I had been raved about in school, I thought I was super smart. Also it seems when people do finally see past my disability and can tell I have a lick of sense, they get all excited about it. “ Oh, she IS smart,” they say. After years of receiving that reaction, I began to think I was some sort of genius. The pedestal strikes again! Truth is I’m just an average Jane. (Knowledge wise, because there’s nothing else average about me!)
These days, the pedestal is pretty much nonexistent, but it does reappear from time to time. For the most part I’m glad it’s gone because it did no favors for my self image. All it caused was confusion. One moment I was on the pedestal, next moment I was invisible.
Instead of telling children and children with disabilties that they are special, tell them they're different and it’s ok to be different. There is room in the world for different.
P.S. This blog was somewhat inspired after I saw Gavin Rossdale live. http://www.ivykennedy.com/concerts/gavin.htm
________
Articles:
We're Not Here for Your Inspiration
We expected better from Oscar Pistorius because he’s disabled. We were wrong.
The Best Compliment Is No Compliment at All
________
3.3.13
It's all or nothing. No happy medium. No true inclusion. Either you're in the spotlight or ignored.
When a video or picture of a person/kid with a disability becomes popular….
Parents are tricky when it comes to this subject. I think it's fine to be proud of our kid with a disability. when a picture or video gets out in cyberspace there's no telling how it's going to be used and how it's going to be perceived. So maybe it goes from a proud parent to some token kid with a disability being objectified. Not good.
When a video or picture of a person/kid with a disability becomes popular, and is everywhere it really bugs me. I can't explain why in one sentence.
One reason may be why is because people with disabilities still are so segregated and not seen (literally) and kids with disabilities still are fighting tooth and nail to be educated ..... then to see the same pic/vid pop up in my face again and again, and even if it's celebrating a good moment, the fact that it's so popular, is the public forgetting what barriers that person faces or just do they not know because all they are seeing is this ONE moment?
I'd hate the best moment of that persons life be that video or picture. "Oh wow, this is totally awesome. Look how many views I got!"
Have you ever heard of "inspiration porn"? It's stories/blogs/video about people with disabilities that the general public goes bezirk for. They eat it up, and want more, more, more. The media feeds it too. That token person with a disability, doing something totally ordinary that gives the public warm and fuzzies.
I think in a small way feeding frenzies like these only segregates people with disabilities even more. Points us out from the herd, put us on a pedestal that very uncomfortable.
Yes, I think in the long run the outcome of this type thing is negative.
Let's celebrate everybody's accomplishments, not just focus on the person that is "overcoming". Because disability is natural, there is no overcoming, there's only living with it. Not achieving in spite of disability, but BECAUSE of it.
.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Employment and Disability
I feel a little silly writing about this subject. A line I heard at my few job interviews, applies to this. ‘I have little to no experience.’ I have no degree. I’ve only had a short internship which was many moons ago, yet I’m writing this blog.
There’re many factors that contribute to the continually low disability employment rate. I will list a few of them. This is my opinion. I may be wrong, I may be right. That’s what a blog is, an opinion.
Lack of access to higher education for people with disabilities
Some people with disabilities may need an aide to write etc for them in class. When I was in K-12 the public school system provided an aide. When I graduated, I had to find my own aides while programs like the VR Pas and the CD Pas paid them via the state. Hiring and keeping an aide even for home care is difficult. I can’t imagine managing an aide for college.
Click Here to read my experiences with personal aides.
Sure, you can earn degrees online. But if I were an employer I wouldn’t want to hire a person coming off as a recluse that has had no interaction with people and no set schedules.
Vocational schools for people with disabilities should offer degrees.
I went to one of these schools that provided me housing and personal care but all I earned for my drafting class was a certificate. This was a state run facility, so that somewhat explains it.
How about offering to the students that can and do want to go to college, work out a tuition program? Students can be housed there and receive the care they need, plus earn a college degree by either hiring accredited teachers onsite, or providing transportation to a nearby college. Vocational schools for people with disabilities may be already doing this I’m not sure.
Acceptance in the workplace
I’m going to make a bold assumption here: Most people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. It’s one thing to have access to the outside world via the ADA, it’s a completely different thing to be chosen to come into a company to get a job done.
The invisible barriers of awkwardness towards people with disabilities need to come down. Now there’s an interview policy that prevents an interviewer to ask about a disability. Questions can only be asked that verify if the job can be executed in relation to a persons disability. You cannot ask questions about the disability outside of the needs of the job. While I understand that focuses the attention on the job itself and off the disability, I can’t help but wonder if that’s not enough to relieve the awkward feeling.
DRS (Dept of Rehabilitative Services) was in charge of my time in the vocational school and finding me job interviews. They also helped me find funding for Assistive Technology to use on computers. They did a great job until it was time to help find me a job. A few things stand out to me as I look back on it.
It was silly to be promoting somebody without a degree. They saw how smart I was, why not help me go to college to get that degree? When I say help, I mean point me in the right direction of other resources that can help. I don’t mean I expected them to do it for me.
I feel DRS wasted a lot of time job-hunting on my behalf. It was clear employers were less than thrilled when they heard about me. That being said, I think a large division of DRS should focus on Disability Awareness Training for businesses. DRS could come up with a workshop that alleviates the awkwardness the abled-bodied community has towards the disabled community. Knowledge is the antidote to fear of the unknown. I also believe Disabled History and Rights should be taught in schools so future generations can be more open-minded about hiring people with disabilities.
Getting the job done
I feel I’m the same as everybody else and should be given a fair chance. At the same time, I also know I am different. I may do things different than others, and I may take more time than others.
So is it really fair for employers to bend their expectations for me? No. Time is money, money is time.
But if I can do the job on time, then what is the fuss?
I believe employers have a hard time seeing pass people with disabilities transportation schedule, modified workplace, attendants, etc to gauge how well the job will get done. I don’t blame them, it’s a huge leap of faith on their part.
Businesses and for the most part people like their routine. Any change or disruption causes anxiety. Some people with disabilities need modified workplaces, modified work schedules, etc. At worse, some employers must feel hiring a person with a disability detrimental to the health of their company. A glitch in a well oiled machine.
Flexibility goes a long way with hiring people with disabilities. Often I would guess, these so-called glitches would work themselves out in a short period of time. Still the fear of the unknown is there for the employer on the interview.
Actively finding work for people with disabilities
Certainty everybody with a disability can contribute. But why are the Disabled Community continually held to the same standards as the abled-bodied population, when they’re different? Can an employee with a disability accomplish the same job as an abled-bodied employee? The answer is yes at times, but other times it’s no. So why can’t jobs be created for only people with disabilities? I suppose that is very similar to Affirmative Action, which has its good points and bad.
Why can’t the government take a more active role in the high disability unemployment rate? There’re people with disabilities that are using the government’s money to survive who would rather be working. So I would think the government would want to step in more forcibly to save money and see that businesses hire people with disabilities. Wouldn’t tax payers pay less if more people with disabilities worked?
Some hear that and think ‘oh no, a government takeover!’ I do agree the government is overwhelmed as it is and doesn’t need more burdens. I also believe, the high disability unemployment rate is very similar to the 60’s when government stepped in to see that African Americans were ingratiated into public schools. Do you still see the military escorting African American kids to school? No. Very quickly the public schools in the south caught on and obeyed the law.
I don’t like to end my blog like that, because I know some people will see the word ‘government’ and freak out.
The disability employment rate has never risen...as far as I know...so I ask people what ideas do they have?
Click Here to read more of my views on this topic. I've also posted useful employment links there.
Other factors that contribute to the disability unemployment rate are explored in a report by the UCP: The State of Disability in America (pg.36) HERE
There’re many factors that contribute to the continually low disability employment rate. I will list a few of them. This is my opinion. I may be wrong, I may be right. That’s what a blog is, an opinion.
Lack of access to higher education for people with disabilities
Some people with disabilities may need an aide to write etc for them in class. When I was in K-12 the public school system provided an aide. When I graduated, I had to find my own aides while programs like the VR Pas and the CD Pas paid them via the state. Hiring and keeping an aide even for home care is difficult. I can’t imagine managing an aide for college.
Click Here to read my experiences with personal aides.
Sure, you can earn degrees online. But if I were an employer I wouldn’t want to hire a person coming off as a recluse that has had no interaction with people and no set schedules.
Vocational schools for people with disabilities should offer degrees.
I went to one of these schools that provided me housing and personal care but all I earned for my drafting class was a certificate. This was a state run facility, so that somewhat explains it.
How about offering to the students that can and do want to go to college, work out a tuition program? Students can be housed there and receive the care they need, plus earn a college degree by either hiring accredited teachers onsite, or providing transportation to a nearby college. Vocational schools for people with disabilities may be already doing this I’m not sure.
Acceptance in the workplace
I’m going to make a bold assumption here: Most people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. It’s one thing to have access to the outside world via the ADA, it’s a completely different thing to be chosen to come into a company to get a job done.
The invisible barriers of awkwardness towards people with disabilities need to come down. Now there’s an interview policy that prevents an interviewer to ask about a disability. Questions can only be asked that verify if the job can be executed in relation to a persons disability. You cannot ask questions about the disability outside of the needs of the job. While I understand that focuses the attention on the job itself and off the disability, I can’t help but wonder if that’s not enough to relieve the awkward feeling.
DRS (Dept of Rehabilitative Services) was in charge of my time in the vocational school and finding me job interviews. They also helped me find funding for Assistive Technology to use on computers. They did a great job until it was time to help find me a job. A few things stand out to me as I look back on it.
It was silly to be promoting somebody without a degree. They saw how smart I was, why not help me go to college to get that degree? When I say help, I mean point me in the right direction of other resources that can help. I don’t mean I expected them to do it for me.
I feel DRS wasted a lot of time job-hunting on my behalf. It was clear employers were less than thrilled when they heard about me. That being said, I think a large division of DRS should focus on Disability Awareness Training for businesses. DRS could come up with a workshop that alleviates the awkwardness the abled-bodied community has towards the disabled community. Knowledge is the antidote to fear of the unknown. I also believe Disabled History and Rights should be taught in schools so future generations can be more open-minded about hiring people with disabilities.
Getting the job done
I feel I’m the same as everybody else and should be given a fair chance. At the same time, I also know I am different. I may do things different than others, and I may take more time than others.
So is it really fair for employers to bend their expectations for me? No. Time is money, money is time.
But if I can do the job on time, then what is the fuss?
I believe employers have a hard time seeing pass people with disabilities transportation schedule, modified workplace, attendants, etc to gauge how well the job will get done. I don’t blame them, it’s a huge leap of faith on their part.
Businesses and for the most part people like their routine. Any change or disruption causes anxiety. Some people with disabilities need modified workplaces, modified work schedules, etc. At worse, some employers must feel hiring a person with a disability detrimental to the health of their company. A glitch in a well oiled machine.
Flexibility goes a long way with hiring people with disabilities. Often I would guess, these so-called glitches would work themselves out in a short period of time. Still the fear of the unknown is there for the employer on the interview.
Actively finding work for people with disabilities
Certainty everybody with a disability can contribute. But why are the Disabled Community continually held to the same standards as the abled-bodied population, when they’re different? Can an employee with a disability accomplish the same job as an abled-bodied employee? The answer is yes at times, but other times it’s no. So why can’t jobs be created for only people with disabilities? I suppose that is very similar to Affirmative Action, which has its good points and bad.
Why can’t the government take a more active role in the high disability unemployment rate? There’re people with disabilities that are using the government’s money to survive who would rather be working. So I would think the government would want to step in more forcibly to save money and see that businesses hire people with disabilities. Wouldn’t tax payers pay less if more people with disabilities worked?
Some hear that and think ‘oh no, a government takeover!’ I do agree the government is overwhelmed as it is and doesn’t need more burdens. I also believe, the high disability unemployment rate is very similar to the 60’s when government stepped in to see that African Americans were ingratiated into public schools. Do you still see the military escorting African American kids to school? No. Very quickly the public schools in the south caught on and obeyed the law.
I don’t like to end my blog like that, because I know some people will see the word ‘government’ and freak out.
The disability employment rate has never risen...as far as I know...so I ask people what ideas do they have?
Click Here to read more of my views on this topic. I've also posted useful employment links there.
Other factors that contribute to the disability unemployment rate are explored in a report by the UCP: The State of Disability in America (pg.36) HERE
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Honesty and the Disabled Community
Meanness, tolerance, honesty and the reality show era.
I’ve been watching Britain’s Top Missing Model. It is a search for a fashion model with a disability. When my mom’s in the room, she can’t believe how mean they are to the women. My first response was this is a competition, the Disabled Community wants to be treated real. But as I watched week after week my stance was this was reality TV. Reality TV is mean across the board. These girls had to have known that, yet they signed up anyways.
I think TV got mean thanks to Seinfeld. I remember watching back then and being shocked. Now I’m so accustomed to it, I deny it when my mother points it out to me.
As far as the reality TV craze goes, I’ve only watched the first season of Survivor. I might watch bits and pieces of a reality show, but I’m never intrigued enough to watch the whole season. Maybe subconsciously all that meanness turns me off?
I have however really gotten into The Biggest Loser. I was surprised to find myself watching it every week. So I started thinking about why I liked it. I was far from being overweight, I knew nobody on the show. What was it? My guy Brian, a big Survivor fan pointed it out to me.
You like that show because they aren’t mean to each other.
I’ll be damn, he was right. The gym coaches may sound mean, but it’s because they want to see that person become healthy. When it comes down to voting people off, it seems people genuinely don’t want them to leave.
These reality shows pride themselves on being honest. Contestants will run their mouth off behind somebody’s back, or even more often, in their face.
Oh I’m just being honest!
Sure it makes for good TV but at this rate after years and years of reality shows, the behavior probably is sinking into all of us by now.
With no boundaries set, are people becoming meaner to one another?
I’m not saying this TVs fault. But how did we get from being kind to our neighbors to this?
Mom blames the Baby Boomer generation. They wanted freedom, no rules, don’t let the man tell you what to do. etc., so they raised their kids like that too.
So now present day: My disability advocacy group is trying to get disability rights and awareness taught in schools.
A few people I’ve come across on chat boards make it seem teaching tolerance is the same as teaching religion in schools.
I can teach my kid that at home.
Well obviously you’re not. Bullying has grown out of control. Teachers don’t want to step in. They're most likely scared of the kids getting physical. Or think think it's not their problem, they're there to teach.
The buck stops where? I want to know.
Where have the boundaries gone? Is there a correct way to treat a person anymore?
There is a difference between being honest and being mean isn’t there?
The disabled community wants to be treated fairly. This means being honest. People are afraid to be honest towards people with disabilities. One reason it makes it so hard to be honest towards people with disabilities, is the abled-bodied population knows NOTHING about the Disabled Community. This has to end if the disabled community wants to reach the goal of equality.
(although, I expect to be given my rights, with no understanding of my disability)
Spoiler alert...
Ex. In Britain’s Top Missing Model the girl that got voted of this week was displaying a bit too much sexual flirtation with one of the male judges. She had a brain injury. I’ve been in rehabs and have noticed that these people tend to have sexually inappropriate behavior. I’m no expert, so I couldn’t explain why that is but it’s definitely a characteristic.
Did the judge take this into consideration? No, because he did not know enough about her disability.
The girls are in the show BECAUSE of their disabilities, but when it’s time to vote it could be because of their disability that they get thrown off. (it’s interesting to me)
The judge was only being honest. That behavior isn’t professional, she couldn’t act like that if she was a real model. But it seemed to me her disability caused that behavior.
She was told plenty times to stop being so flirtatious during the series. She was warned. So I think the judge made the right decision.
A fight broke out between both male judges. The other thought he was being too hard on her. I felt he was only being honest.
It’s a strange phenomenon. How all of us can tackle the problem, I’m not sure.
Where how does the Disabled Community fit in, in today’s world of brutal honesty and low tolerance?
And
Why are the Disabled Community continually held to the same standards as the abled-bodied population, when we are different? Is there room for 'different' in Society?
UPDATE: 12/7/10
BBCamerica just finished airing the series. The girl that won was given the chance to be picked by a major modeling agency. During the decision to take her on, two things stuck out to me. (Her disability was that she was missing part of her arm) I heard a comment like; if she was abled-bodied and came off the street asking us to represent her I don’t think we would.
They ended up signing her.
Now why did they? According to that comment I thought for sure they wouldn’t pick her up.
I heard another comment; we’ll give her a chance.
Why don’t more employers have that attitude? Or was it because they were on TV and didn’t want to look bad?
I’ve been watching Britain’s Top Missing Model. It is a search for a fashion model with a disability. When my mom’s in the room, she can’t believe how mean they are to the women. My first response was this is a competition, the Disabled Community wants to be treated real. But as I watched week after week my stance was this was reality TV. Reality TV is mean across the board. These girls had to have known that, yet they signed up anyways.
I think TV got mean thanks to Seinfeld. I remember watching back then and being shocked. Now I’m so accustomed to it, I deny it when my mother points it out to me.
As far as the reality TV craze goes, I’ve only watched the first season of Survivor. I might watch bits and pieces of a reality show, but I’m never intrigued enough to watch the whole season. Maybe subconsciously all that meanness turns me off?
I have however really gotten into The Biggest Loser. I was surprised to find myself watching it every week. So I started thinking about why I liked it. I was far from being overweight, I knew nobody on the show. What was it? My guy Brian, a big Survivor fan pointed it out to me.
You like that show because they aren’t mean to each other.
I’ll be damn, he was right. The gym coaches may sound mean, but it’s because they want to see that person become healthy. When it comes down to voting people off, it seems people genuinely don’t want them to leave.
These reality shows pride themselves on being honest. Contestants will run their mouth off behind somebody’s back, or even more often, in their face.
Oh I’m just being honest!
Sure it makes for good TV but at this rate after years and years of reality shows, the behavior probably is sinking into all of us by now.
With no boundaries set, are people becoming meaner to one another?
I’m not saying this TVs fault. But how did we get from being kind to our neighbors to this?
Mom blames the Baby Boomer generation. They wanted freedom, no rules, don’t let the man tell you what to do. etc., so they raised their kids like that too.
So now present day: My disability advocacy group is trying to get disability rights and awareness taught in schools.
A few people I’ve come across on chat boards make it seem teaching tolerance is the same as teaching religion in schools.
I can teach my kid that at home.
Well obviously you’re not. Bullying has grown out of control. Teachers don’t want to step in. They're most likely scared of the kids getting physical. Or think think it's not their problem, they're there to teach.
The buck stops where? I want to know.
Where have the boundaries gone? Is there a correct way to treat a person anymore?
There is a difference between being honest and being mean isn’t there?
The disabled community wants to be treated fairly. This means being honest. People are afraid to be honest towards people with disabilities. One reason it makes it so hard to be honest towards people with disabilities, is the abled-bodied population knows NOTHING about the Disabled Community. This has to end if the disabled community wants to reach the goal of equality.
(although, I expect to be given my rights, with no understanding of my disability)
Spoiler alert...
Ex. In Britain’s Top Missing Model the girl that got voted of this week was displaying a bit too much sexual flirtation with one of the male judges. She had a brain injury. I’ve been in rehabs and have noticed that these people tend to have sexually inappropriate behavior. I’m no expert, so I couldn’t explain why that is but it’s definitely a characteristic.
Did the judge take this into consideration? No, because he did not know enough about her disability.
The girls are in the show BECAUSE of their disabilities, but when it’s time to vote it could be because of their disability that they get thrown off. (it’s interesting to me)
The judge was only being honest. That behavior isn’t professional, she couldn’t act like that if she was a real model. But it seemed to me her disability caused that behavior.
She was told plenty times to stop being so flirtatious during the series. She was warned. So I think the judge made the right decision.
A fight broke out between both male judges. The other thought he was being too hard on her. I felt he was only being honest.
It’s a strange phenomenon. How all of us can tackle the problem, I’m not sure.
Where how does the Disabled Community fit in, in today’s world of brutal honesty and low tolerance?
And
Why are the Disabled Community continually held to the same standards as the abled-bodied population, when we are different? Is there room for 'different' in Society?
UPDATE: 12/7/10
BBCamerica just finished airing the series. The girl that won was given the chance to be picked by a major modeling agency. During the decision to take her on, two things stuck out to me. (Her disability was that she was missing part of her arm) I heard a comment like; if she was abled-bodied and came off the street asking us to represent her I don’t think we would.
They ended up signing her.
Now why did they? According to that comment I thought for sure they wouldn’t pick her up.
I heard another comment; we’ll give her a chance.
Why don’t more employers have that attitude? Or was it because they were on TV and didn’t want to look bad?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
If women ruled the world
I feel most women will stab another woman in the back in second. Women get in each other’s way before we’ll help each other. That’s the main reason I think women haven’t taken control of the modern world.
It’s a different atmosphere in a room full of women. I find myself on alert or uptight if I’m surrounded by other women. As if they might use anything I do and say against me at some point later down the road. (I feel like that because I’ve experienced or saw a ‘back stabbing’)
I find am able to be myself in a room full of guys though.
But maybe that’s just me.
I just feel like guys couldn’t careless and that takes the pressure off.
Yes, men can also betray but women will do it on a more personal level.
Some women are very critical of other women to the point of being counter productive to the women’s movement.
However, at times it seems like the women’s movement in the Sixties never happened at all.
There's still a stereotype that women need to be married with children to be fulfilled.
Can women have it all? Can she be wife, mother and have a career? Some women say yes and appear to be great at it. In my opinion, there are not enough hours in the day and one of the three will be neglected.
There's no pressure on men to be best at all three simultaneously. It's a double standard that I think will never change.
Another reason women may not rule is because men are physically stronger than women. It definitely started out that way in the caveman days and it was built upon throughout the years. But we've slowly seen a change in females/society in our modern world.
I think women do have some ‘softer’ qualities to mooze people in any environment. Or manipulate, whatever you want to call it.
Women’s problem solving skills are different than men. When making decisions, some men tend to live in the moment, whereas women think about the future. That’s one example of why I think women’s problem solving skills are better.
Men see things more black and white or cut and dry. When they have an argument it seems they really do put it behind them and move on. When the ladies argue it's all different shades of emotion being felt. Some ladies are grudge holders and let old issues color their judgment.
So, if women ruled the planet would it be better?
I dunno, given what I’ve said I’m not sure but it would definitely be different.
I do think if women ruled we would war just as much as we do now. The wars may be conducted differently or be about different issues than what we war about now.
I disagree with people who say men and women aren’t different. We are WAY different...the way we communicate, problem solve, grieve. But I believe men and women are different because we’re supposed to balance one another out. On the other hand, it’s aggravating as hell sometimes to live together because we’re so different. (I say from personal experience. Hehehe.) I don’t understand how anybody who has been in a long-term relationship can say the sexes are the same.
Would we have peace if women controlled the planet?
I think we all want peace, but when push comes to shove it’s extremely difficult to achieve and maintain. Every species wars, we just have guns and bombs. The warring gene or whatever you want to call it, is in every creature’s make up on the planet. We, the most evolved species has the will to fight the warring urge and problem solve in a non-violent way. Do we do overcome the urge? Yes, but not nearly enough.
It’s a different atmosphere in a room full of women. I find myself on alert or uptight if I’m surrounded by other women. As if they might use anything I do and say against me at some point later down the road. (I feel like that because I’ve experienced or saw a ‘back stabbing’)
I find am able to be myself in a room full of guys though.
But maybe that’s just me.
I just feel like guys couldn’t careless and that takes the pressure off.
Yes, men can also betray but women will do it on a more personal level.
Some women are very critical of other women to the point of being counter productive to the women’s movement.
However, at times it seems like the women’s movement in the Sixties never happened at all.
There's still a stereotype that women need to be married with children to be fulfilled.
Can women have it all? Can she be wife, mother and have a career? Some women say yes and appear to be great at it. In my opinion, there are not enough hours in the day and one of the three will be neglected.
There's no pressure on men to be best at all three simultaneously. It's a double standard that I think will never change.
Another reason women may not rule is because men are physically stronger than women. It definitely started out that way in the caveman days and it was built upon throughout the years. But we've slowly seen a change in females/society in our modern world.
I think women do have some ‘softer’ qualities to mooze people in any environment. Or manipulate, whatever you want to call it.
Women’s problem solving skills are different than men. When making decisions, some men tend to live in the moment, whereas women think about the future. That’s one example of why I think women’s problem solving skills are better.
Men see things more black and white or cut and dry. When they have an argument it seems they really do put it behind them and move on. When the ladies argue it's all different shades of emotion being felt. Some ladies are grudge holders and let old issues color their judgment.
So, if women ruled the planet would it be better?
I dunno, given what I’ve said I’m not sure but it would definitely be different.
I do think if women ruled we would war just as much as we do now. The wars may be conducted differently or be about different issues than what we war about now.
I disagree with people who say men and women aren’t different. We are WAY different...the way we communicate, problem solve, grieve. But I believe men and women are different because we’re supposed to balance one another out. On the other hand, it’s aggravating as hell sometimes to live together because we’re so different. (I say from personal experience. Hehehe.) I don’t understand how anybody who has been in a long-term relationship can say the sexes are the same.
Would we have peace if women controlled the planet?
I think we all want peace, but when push comes to shove it’s extremely difficult to achieve and maintain. Every species wars, we just have guns and bombs. The warring gene or whatever you want to call it, is in every creature’s make up on the planet. We, the most evolved species has the will to fight the warring urge and problem solve in a non-violent way. Do we do overcome the urge? Yes, but not nearly enough.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
My feelings toward Religion at this point in my life
What religion is to me is: love, hope and fellowship. All the other things wrapped in religion, I have no use for. I’ve been to many types of churches when I was younger. Baptist, Mennonite, Methodist. So I’m not a stranger to religion. I feel I’m spiritual, but I don’t go to church. There’s a church out there for everybody they say. But I haven’t found mine yet and I don’t think I ever will.
It’s just I don’t like how people take religion and run with it to fit their needs or fears. Or use it to manipulate or judge. I do believe religion can be a beautiful thing too. It gives hope and teaches love. It also brings people together and helps the less fortunate.
(I’m disabled) On one than one occasion a religious nut has come up to me and told me to my face all loud so everybody can hear, Jesus can cure you! As if! I’m fine the way I am. It’s you that has a problem. God made me the way he wanted me to be. …is what I say back to them. I know these people are extremist and every religious person doesn’t feel like that towards me. Yet I can’t help feel turned off to religion when this happens.
For example, take the book The Shack or watch the movie Religulous. Those two things are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum but they perfectly describe how I feel about religion in this point in my life.
I’m don’t have any problems with people sharing things of a religious nature with me. I’m opened minded. I just want it to be a two-way street. I want All religions are based on belief - not fact.. so matter if it's the most common and respected religion or the least, silliest sounding religion.. they're all one in the same as they are based on things you can not prove. Whether aliens bringing humans to earth or resurrection.. it's all irrational, illogical but believed by many as "faith" and "belief". --- a number of people, including me were talking about religion on a chat board. I didn't make this comment but I totally agree with it. (2011)
I think we have to be flexible. Any belief system that is inflexible, closed off to other belief systems, is profoundly unhealthy. I also think that if you look at life as a long line of evolutionary changes that started billions of years ago, from little things crawling in the mud, and the you realize where we’ve got to now, that is a remarkable set of circumstances. There is more magic in that, for me, than someone creating the planet in six days and taking a day off. When you realize how long humanity has taken to get to this point, it makes you respect another person’s life in a deeper and broader sense. I wouldn’t think of killing anybody because their lineage goes back to the primordial seas, not because there’s some eye in the sky, looking out for how many commandments you’re going to break. --- Eddie Vedder 2009 Uncut Magazine
3/26/18
Aside from all the celebration of 20 years of love, my favorite part of the weekend was hearing the sound of Mama Melea's voice in my house. And watching two people network / compare notes to learn from each others experiences, hopefully to ultimately improve their lives. Watching that filled my heart with joy.
~ That second part there .... THAT IS WHERE IT'S AT FOR ME. That's what inspires me and keeps me fulfilled. ~
.
It’s just I don’t like how people take religion and run with it to fit their needs or fears. Or use it to manipulate or judge. I do believe religion can be a beautiful thing too. It gives hope and teaches love. It also brings people together and helps the less fortunate.
(I’m disabled) On one than one occasion a religious nut has come up to me and told me to my face all loud so everybody can hear, Jesus can cure you! As if! I’m fine the way I am. It’s you that has a problem. God made me the way he wanted me to be. …is what I say back to them. I know these people are extremist and every religious person doesn’t feel like that towards me. Yet I can’t help feel turned off to religion when this happens.
For example, take the book The Shack or watch the movie Religulous. Those two things are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum but they perfectly describe how I feel about religion in this point in my life.
I’m don’t have any problems with people sharing things of a religious nature with me. I’m opened minded. I just want it to be a two-way street. I want All religions are based on belief - not fact.. so matter if it's the most common and respected religion or the least, silliest sounding religion.. they're all one in the same as they are based on things you can not prove. Whether aliens bringing humans to earth or resurrection.. it's all irrational, illogical but believed by many as "faith" and "belief". --- a number of people, including me were talking about religion on a chat board. I didn't make this comment but I totally agree with it. (2011)
I think we have to be flexible. Any belief system that is inflexible, closed off to other belief systems, is profoundly unhealthy. I also think that if you look at life as a long line of evolutionary changes that started billions of years ago, from little things crawling in the mud, and the you realize where we’ve got to now, that is a remarkable set of circumstances. There is more magic in that, for me, than someone creating the planet in six days and taking a day off. When you realize how long humanity has taken to get to this point, it makes you respect another person’s life in a deeper and broader sense. I wouldn’t think of killing anybody because their lineage goes back to the primordial seas, not because there’s some eye in the sky, looking out for how many commandments you’re going to break. --- Eddie Vedder 2009 Uncut Magazine
3/26/18
Aside from all the celebration of 20 years of love, my favorite part of the weekend was hearing the sound of Mama Melea's voice in my house. And watching two people network / compare notes to learn from each others experiences, hopefully to ultimately improve their lives. Watching that filled my heart with joy.
~ That second part there .... THAT IS WHERE IT'S AT FOR ME. That's what inspires me and keeps me fulfilled. ~
.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Price of Concert Tickets
To read 'Inside Ticketmaster's Empire' - July 09 Rolling Stone Magazine Article CLICK HERE
It’s kinda like global warming. Some people believe it’s happening, some don’t
Some people think ticket prices are fine, some don’t.
I say the consumer has the power. Consumers need to come together and boycott high price shows.
Damn those Eagles... it all started with them.
In the last ten years prices have about doubled.
There's other ways for a band to make money other then playing live for only the rich.
Look at the all the awesome box sets bands are coming out with or charging for meet and greets. Bands can get creative with money making without raising ticket prices. Anyway, nowdays bands don’t make that much touring anyways....it all goes to the venue and TM.
It’s sad when you can’t afford to buy a ticket to your favorite band. ...A band that you have spent money on by buying their every album release. It’s sad and wrong.
Prices keep getting higher. Who’s to say they won’t stop getting higher? TM is taking advantage. Call it capitalism or whatever, but it’s just plain wrong to me.
I mean I just looked up two lawn tickets to a show I semi wanted to go to. Freggin $70! For lawn tickets! To me, two lawn tickets should be $45 tops.
If we don’t flex some consumer muscle somehow, ticket prices are only gonna go higher. But it seems to me people think they don’t have any power (which is wrong, I think they do) or they don’t give a shit.
Soon concerts will become an elitist activity. It’s going to blow. No average Joe Schmo will able to afford tickets. It’s going to be nothing but rich snobs at shows. Doesn’t sound like fun to me.
Bands can set whatever price they like. I guess. I don’t know really who’s setting the prices, TM or bands.
But if it’s indeed the band, are they aware when setting prices they maybe alienating a part of their fan base and do they care?
Do some think it’s okay for their favorite band to charge outrageous prices knowing the fans will ALWAYS buy and it’s totally ok to them? There’ll be no limit if bands have the upper hand.
Maxing out your credit card isn’t the answer either. Work for what you want, sure. But I’m also not going to sell my first born for a band that I’ve been buying their cds faithfully for years just to see them live. I’ve been buying your music for years, but I can’t afford to see you live. That’s messed up.
In my opinion the ‘if they’re overpriced, they wouldn’t sell’ thing doesn’t apply to concert tickets. Concerts are more an emotional purchase. It’s not the same as buying milk etc. People may be unrational about tickets because it’s their favorite band. Just look at what the Eagles did. They were overpriced (especially at that time) and people still snapped up tickets. Maybe that’s why people aren’t flexing consumer muscle.
I will say there're concerts I'm somewhat interested in and I don't go because it's out of my range. Just think of all those non-diehard fans/tickets they can sell if they lowered prices. But I guess for every non-diehard fan there's a diehard willing to fork out the dough.
If you’re not willing to buy, the concert must not be ‘worth it to you' some say.
I had really wanted to see Clapton when he came down. I AM a big fan and his music DOES mean a lot to me. But at the price they charged, I couldn't go. So the 'worth it' theory is BS to me. It made me sick...Clapton has money he's been doing this all his life, WTF? Why can't average Joe Schmo afford a ticket? I’m not any less of a fan if I don’t put myself into debt to see a live show.
It’s kinda like global warming. Some people believe it’s happening, some don’t
Some people think ticket prices are fine, some don’t.
I say the consumer has the power. Consumers need to come together and boycott high price shows.
Damn those Eagles... it all started with them.
In the last ten years prices have about doubled.
There's other ways for a band to make money other then playing live for only the rich.
Look at the all the awesome box sets bands are coming out with or charging for meet and greets. Bands can get creative with money making without raising ticket prices. Anyway, nowdays bands don’t make that much touring anyways....it all goes to the venue and TM.
It’s sad when you can’t afford to buy a ticket to your favorite band. ...A band that you have spent money on by buying their every album release. It’s sad and wrong.
Prices keep getting higher. Who’s to say they won’t stop getting higher? TM is taking advantage. Call it capitalism or whatever, but it’s just plain wrong to me.
I mean I just looked up two lawn tickets to a show I semi wanted to go to. Freggin $70! For lawn tickets! To me, two lawn tickets should be $45 tops.
If we don’t flex some consumer muscle somehow, ticket prices are only gonna go higher. But it seems to me people think they don’t have any power (which is wrong, I think they do) or they don’t give a shit.
Soon concerts will become an elitist activity. It’s going to blow. No average Joe Schmo will able to afford tickets. It’s going to be nothing but rich snobs at shows. Doesn’t sound like fun to me.
Bands can set whatever price they like. I guess. I don’t know really who’s setting the prices, TM or bands.
But if it’s indeed the band, are they aware when setting prices they maybe alienating a part of their fan base and do they care?
Do some think it’s okay for their favorite band to charge outrageous prices knowing the fans will ALWAYS buy and it’s totally ok to them? There’ll be no limit if bands have the upper hand.
Maxing out your credit card isn’t the answer either. Work for what you want, sure. But I’m also not going to sell my first born for a band that I’ve been buying their cds faithfully for years just to see them live. I’ve been buying your music for years, but I can’t afford to see you live. That’s messed up.
In my opinion the ‘if they’re overpriced, they wouldn’t sell’ thing doesn’t apply to concert tickets. Concerts are more an emotional purchase. It’s not the same as buying milk etc. People may be unrational about tickets because it’s their favorite band. Just look at what the Eagles did. They were overpriced (especially at that time) and people still snapped up tickets. Maybe that’s why people aren’t flexing consumer muscle.
I will say there're concerts I'm somewhat interested in and I don't go because it's out of my range. Just think of all those non-diehard fans/tickets they can sell if they lowered prices. But I guess for every non-diehard fan there's a diehard willing to fork out the dough.
If you’re not willing to buy, the concert must not be ‘worth it to you' some say.
I had really wanted to see Clapton when he came down. I AM a big fan and his music DOES mean a lot to me. But at the price they charged, I couldn't go. So the 'worth it' theory is BS to me. It made me sick...Clapton has money he's been doing this all his life, WTF? Why can't average Joe Schmo afford a ticket? I’m not any less of a fan if I don’t put myself into debt to see a live show.
10.11.11
Humans are some strange creatures! I recently stumbled across a research study that shows if a person was told the wine they were drinking was expensive they would enjoy it more, even if it was a lie and they were drinking cheap wine. HERE
"Changes in the price of a product can influence neural computations associated with experienced pleasantness"
.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wicked the Musical and Disability
5/26/09
~Spoiler Alert!~
I took my mother to see Wicked for her Birthday and Mother’s Day. It was fabulous! I loved it! There were many times where disability issues were brought up. I wonder if the writer has anybody close to them with a disability? I’m not sure if the writers intended to touch on disability issues. This is only my interpretation.
When the Wicked Witch of the West was born it was a tragic time in the musical. They sang a song along the lines of Nobody Wants a Wicked. Here was this green baby that had just been delivered being carried around on stage as this thing. All were saddened the baby was green. It seemed nobody wanted her. I asked my mother later if that scene had bothered her. I had a feeling it did and I was right.
I didn’t mean to draw up bad memories for my mom. But the story of the Wicked is some ways parallels my life and I really identified with it. Wicked astonished everybody with what she could do. People have sometimes underestimated me too. So even though what started out as a tragedy, turned out as a wonderful surprise for all.
In the musical the Wicked Witch had a twin sister with a disability. Somehow, because she was green it had done damage to her sister in the womb. She had this elaborate manual wheelchair, which I thought was pretty snazzy!
The Wicked Witch had thought her father hated her for causing her sister’s disability. I sometimes feel guilty by making life more difficult for my loved ones too. She also had guilt towards her sister’s disability. She felt like she had to be at her sisters side at all times. The dimension of guilt also reminded me of my life. My parents and my brother probably sometimes feel guilty. It’s only natural I believe, but how you handle the guilt is what matters.
Glinda the Good Witch pitied the sister with a disability so much; she manipulated a Munchkin boy to take her to the school dance. Or not so much pitied, but wanted to do a good deed. The sister with a disability had thought the guy had just been interested in her. She didn’t know he was only doing it as a favor to Glinda. THAT reminded me of my Senior Prom. My Physical Therapist’s son took me. Only I had no delusions. I knew it was a sweet gesture and nothing more.
The Munchkin stayed with her much longer than the dance. He turned into a type of servant for the sister with a disability. That also struck a cord with me. I have tried my best not to let my significant other to become my personal care aide. When I see it happen with couples I get a little angry. Don’t let your mate become a 24/7 aide! That’s a sure fire way to kill your relationship.
The last time the musical struck me as disability related is when the Wicked Witch came back after many years and wanted to do something good for her sister. She finally had the idea to cure her disability with her magical powers! Only in Oz! I enjoyed seeing the sister rise up out of the wheelchair and take her first steps. But it bothered me when the sister was ungrateful. Her sister had cured her and it still wasn’t enough. I hope I’m not seen as some unpleaseable person with always a gripe to complain about.
In all I take away the hopefulness in the story. The Wicked Witch found her way through life despite being different. She fell in love and got her man in the end. There were many who loved her. She was not alone.
~Spoiler Alert!~
I took my mother to see Wicked for her Birthday and Mother’s Day. It was fabulous! I loved it! There were many times where disability issues were brought up. I wonder if the writer has anybody close to them with a disability? I’m not sure if the writers intended to touch on disability issues. This is only my interpretation.
When the Wicked Witch of the West was born it was a tragic time in the musical. They sang a song along the lines of Nobody Wants a Wicked. Here was this green baby that had just been delivered being carried around on stage as this thing. All were saddened the baby was green. It seemed nobody wanted her. I asked my mother later if that scene had bothered her. I had a feeling it did and I was right.
I didn’t mean to draw up bad memories for my mom. But the story of the Wicked is some ways parallels my life and I really identified with it. Wicked astonished everybody with what she could do. People have sometimes underestimated me too. So even though what started out as a tragedy, turned out as a wonderful surprise for all.
In the musical the Wicked Witch had a twin sister with a disability. Somehow, because she was green it had done damage to her sister in the womb. She had this elaborate manual wheelchair, which I thought was pretty snazzy!
The Wicked Witch had thought her father hated her for causing her sister’s disability. I sometimes feel guilty by making life more difficult for my loved ones too. She also had guilt towards her sister’s disability. She felt like she had to be at her sisters side at all times. The dimension of guilt also reminded me of my life. My parents and my brother probably sometimes feel guilty. It’s only natural I believe, but how you handle the guilt is what matters.
Glinda the Good Witch pitied the sister with a disability so much; she manipulated a Munchkin boy to take her to the school dance. Or not so much pitied, but wanted to do a good deed. The sister with a disability had thought the guy had just been interested in her. She didn’t know he was only doing it as a favor to Glinda. THAT reminded me of my Senior Prom. My Physical Therapist’s son took me. Only I had no delusions. I knew it was a sweet gesture and nothing more.
The Munchkin stayed with her much longer than the dance. He turned into a type of servant for the sister with a disability. That also struck a cord with me. I have tried my best not to let my significant other to become my personal care aide. When I see it happen with couples I get a little angry. Don’t let your mate become a 24/7 aide! That’s a sure fire way to kill your relationship.
The last time the musical struck me as disability related is when the Wicked Witch came back after many years and wanted to do something good for her sister. She finally had the idea to cure her disability with her magical powers! Only in Oz! I enjoyed seeing the sister rise up out of the wheelchair and take her first steps. But it bothered me when the sister was ungrateful. Her sister had cured her and it still wasn’t enough. I hope I’m not seen as some unpleaseable person with always a gripe to complain about.
In all I take away the hopefulness in the story. The Wicked Witch found her way through life despite being different. She fell in love and got her man in the end. There were many who loved her. She was not alone.
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