Tuesday, June 4, 2013

To explain or not to explain: That is the question


When talking to the public don't explain your disability at great length and then turn around and ask them to treat you like everybody else.
It's a very contradicting message and I would love to see people with disabilities (and parents) stop using this way of introducing themselves.

Your disability is a part of you, but it does not define you. It's not the most important thing about you.

If you start a conversation off with your medical diagnosis and rattle off how or why a disability effects you, I feel strangers will just compile the information into a large pile of CAN'T. You are building your own mountain that you will have to scale. People with disabilities have enough barriers, why create them with words?

A person is much more than their disability. Choosing how you communicate with the public that will convey that. Stop explaining yourself away. Stop self-identifying as a label. 

When meeting a person for the first time, find common ground with them. Friends heighten quality of life. Friendship can form under any shared interest. If the first thing out of your mouth is 'disability', however honest and clear you describe it it will create divide between you and the potential new friend.

Do you hear people say, "Hello. My name is Bob. I have high blood pressure."? No, you don't. Leave the medical labels in the doctors office. Even then doctors can be wrong, or medical diagnoses are always changing, or medical discoveries are made, so why bother trying to stuff yourself into a pre-labeled box?

I used to tell anybody and everybody about disability, in hopes of if people understood then then they would accept. Explaining yourself into oblivion does no good. It takes and leaves you with nothing. It dehumanizes you. There is a time and place to explain your disability.

I do believe in teaching awareness in a careful all encompassing way. 
This disability month, that disability month…. It's starting to really get on my nerves. How much awareness does a person need to be beat over the head with? I'm sure by now, the bombardment of awareness has turned into a dull mind-numbing roar that the public has tuned out. 
Instead of a particular disability awareness plug/PSA, advocate how people with disabilities should be treated. BUT then when doing that, you'll see the disabled community run into this paradox:

"Just like you." 
OR 
"Different. It's ok to be different." 
If it's confusing to me, our children must be baffled!

I'm sure we all want to be accepted. We want a space at the family table, so to speak. In that aspect everybody on earth is the same. The truth is we  each have our differences and as humans we are intelligent enough to include everybody.

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"As we think so shall we speak, as we speak, so shall it be.”

People First Language is a way of speaking about people with disabilities in a positive manor that does not put disability in the spotlight. Too often the disability takes over conversations when the true focus should be on the person's likes, needs, wants and life goals. The way we choose to speak is so important, because it forms the world around us.
People First Language also changes how we describe assistive devices.
For example: She's in a wheelchair Changes to: She uses a wheelchair.
People First Language may seem like a small thing, but if more people used it attitudes towards disabilities will change for the better. So be sure to try and use it and maybe just by listening, somebody near you will start using it too.

Here's a fabulous webpage that gives more detail about People First Language:
http://www.gcdd.org/news-a-media/people-first-language.html


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When reaching out for support or advocating for your child, at what point can it be damaging to social perception of disability?

A Facebook chat about two articles:
Paying For My Special-Needs Child
&
Why We Published A Photo Of A 16-Year-Old In A Diaper

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“I stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand from their level of perception.” 

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Stop blaming the disability. Take it off your list as the #1 go to reason when there is a problem.
Facebook chat
 


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